The Beating Conflict Manifesto

Imagine that we all committed to beating conflict in our workplaces, families and communities.

What would that look like?

Firstly the proposition needs some clarification.

When I say “beating conflict” I mean beating the seductive/destructive influences of this thing called conflict and how it leads us to act.  I do not mean that we should strive for communities without disagreements, debates and really good conversations about the tough stuff.  All of those things are like so many jewels.  They are the prizes we ought to strive for.

What we need to overcome is the way that conflict leads us to go on the attack, defence or counter attack.  We need to overcome the conflict fuelled actions of sulking, sabotage or politicisation that we see in our office, factories and schools.  We need to break out of polarised factions throwing bombs, to stop blaming one another and learn new attitudes and behaviours, new ways of “Being in conflict” that will enable us to work together through the disagreements.

What would our manifesto look like?  I think it would include the following

1. Take responsibility
2. Recognise your contribution to the conflict escalation
3. Reject blame
4. Reject victimhood
5. Choose not to be defensive
6. Be curious

I will drill down into these further over the next couple of weeks but let me know, what would you put on your Beating Conflict Manifesto?

Sharing Feedback From Local Education Authority Conflict Training

Having recently attended a training course on Understanding Conflict delivered by Neil, I would warmly recommend him to any organisation that is looking to improve its relationships with clients or customers, or to just become more aware of how to obtain the best from interactions.

The course was well planned, with the objectives explained clearly at the outset, an interesting range of activities throughout the day, and a reasonable structure in terms of time, breaks, refreshments etc. Some of these were supported by visual depictions on flip-chart, which helped participants understand concepts, and a handout reinforced the learning. Activities involved moving about, working in pairs and different groups, and using simple equipment which nonetheless made things more interesting (e.g. different coloured pens, paper, daily newspapers, personality quiz). This variety meant that the day went quickly and enjoyably.

Throughout, Neil’s delivery was calm, relaxing, informal yet professional, which helps to reflect the ethos of the aims of the course, i.e., to deal with things and communicate sensibly, purposefully, in the most effective manner. The language and tone used was absolutely appropriate and clear, not condescending or ambiguous, and I know, from seeing Neil in other contexts, that he is easily able to adapt to different audiences and pitch it accurately.

The course was enlightening and enjoyable, and, through interactive methods, the group learned about the theory and cost of conflict, recognising the behaviours that we find ourselves and others displaying, why we should become curious to discover more about what the other party wants, how we can identify when conflict is evolving and how we can move towards a narrative approach as opposed to a blame model. We are considering how to extend this to our wider staff body, in Additional Learning Needs, and as a parent governor, I feel that this would be extremely useful in primary schools generally. I found it personally and professionally refreshing and stimulating, and believe that everybody could benefit from such a course, and a discussion with Neil as to how learning such as this can help them and their workplace.

Fiona Gordon, Pilot Project Co-ordinator, Inclusion Service, Bridgend County Borough Council.

Conversational Riffs Training In Schools

Schools play a central and priviledged role in the centre of their communities.  For many people the school is the hub of relationships between families, and between parents and teachers.  As a result it is always a great pleasure to work in schools providing conflict management and resolution skills whether for the teachers, children or the parents.

A particular highlight of this work is the involvement in piloting new training programs in South Wales.  Here, Conversational Riffs are designing a range of training resources to be accessed by schools, LEAs and parent groups. The goal is nothing short of transforming relationships within and through the school.

Conversational Riffs are soon to be featured by the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning syllabus, not as an additional module, or a new initiative, but rather as a way of putting into practice those approaches that are already within the curriculum.

If you would like to discuss Conversational Riffs training as an inset option for your school, or board of governors then contact us today on 07815 727693 and see how we can make your team more effective.

Conversational Riffs Presents to Welsh Assembly and Education Authorities

I had the priviledge of presenting to the Welsh Assembly and 22 education authorities this week on SEN and ALN cases.

Together we explored the role of training on conflict awareness, as opposed to conflict resolution. We were particularly looking at conflict arising in special and additional learning needs cases.

The premise was that by elevating everyone’s awareness of conflict dynamics we can manage difficult conversations better. We will still have disagreements but by giving everyone communication tools we can avoid those problems escalating.

The suggestion was well received and Conversational Riffs are commissioned to run pilot schemes over the coming weeks.